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iluvhrdcor
Advanced Member
    

 Australia
589 posts Joined: Jan, 2006
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 08:03:53
sorry guys, but really what is up with u??? half of u may not be like this at all, but my boyfriend certainly is....
anyway, when i want to have sex, its like i am not allowed to touch him or get into it, he says "its out of bounds" or makes up some sh@t story why i am not allowed to go there.
but today when he feels like it (SOME WEEKS LATER) after i have tried for so long, he decides that he wants a bit..... so i say "no" and he gets all cut and says " fine looks like u wont get any for along time then" and i a say " well its no different to our normal day life".... i am not unattractive and i don't like to say i am attractive... i guess i am in between... do any of u get the same thing or is it just me?
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1up
Advanced Member
    

 Australia
1,091 posts Joined: Jan, 2005
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 08:18:51
not all guys are like that! that guy must be a jerk (no offence)
cheating perhaps?
premature ejaculation (he sucks in bed)?
his diseased? (his got every right to restrain himself)
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Jax
Advanced Member
    

 United Kingdom
2,676 posts Joined: Apr, 2005
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 08:55:31
lol! i think 1up just about sumed it up there
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B.C
Advanced Member
    

 United Kingdom
1,747 posts Joined: Jul, 2002
35 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 10:25:49
....or he's just lazy and rarely gets motivation.
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Simon
Advanced Member
    

 Belgium
5,001 posts Joined: Dec, 2001
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 10:43:07
Could be gay
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FriedRice
Advanced Member
    

 Australia
669 posts Joined: Feb, 2006
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 11:46:04
quote: Originally posted by 1up:
not all guys are like that! that guy must be a jerk (no offence)
cheating perhaps?
premature ejaculation (he sucks in bed)?
his diseased? (his got every right to restrain himself)
Gotta be i mean i concider myself to be quite the gentleman but i would never knock back sex from my GF lol
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PsychoticRaver
Average Member
  

 United Kingdom
185 posts Joined: Jun, 2006
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 14:25:05
Not all guys are like that.
He sound's a bit of a dick, but no offence.
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JesterDJ
Advanced Member
    

 United Kingdom
1,486 posts Joined: Apr, 2003
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 15:37:49
yea, i hate to be the bearer of bad news but to be honest, when a bloke is stopping his missus from jumping on him for a long while that normally does mean he's cheating or has cheated and is worrying about whats going on with that.
It could be a sign of guilt or maybe if its not that, then he is what i originally thought; an idiot that's extremely selfish.
Don't worry babe, if your gagging i'm sure there's plenty of horny young fellas on here willing to sort you out................
(pm me your address... )
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PsychoticRaver
Average Member
  

 United Kingdom
185 posts Joined: Jun, 2006
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 15:39:24
(pm me your address... )
LOL! :P.
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ryg0r
Advanced Member
    

 Australia
2,807 posts Joined: Aug, 2002
34 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 15:50:18
He's just not paying you the attention you deserve.
The attention that I can give. That Barry White attention....!
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whispering
Moderator
    

 Finland
8,453 posts Joined: Nov, 2002
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 16:03:15
quote: Originally posted by JesterDJ:
yea, i hate to be the bearer of bad news but to be honest, when a bloke is stopping his missus from jumping on him for a long while that normally does mean he's cheating or has cheated and is worrying about whats going on with that.
It could be a sign of guilt or maybe if its not that, then he is what i originally thought; an idiot that's extremely selfish.
Gotta give my 2 cents before you, iluvhrdcor, jump into any conclusions. I have no idea of saying if hes cheating on you or not. If i would see you two together, i could give you better advice on that (i'm rarely wrong). But not wanting to have sex has nothing to do with it. I have turned down sex more then i have had sex with my previous ex's, and it had nothing to do with my feelings towards those girls, and to say all guys are the same is just ********. As i'm never in a relationship unless i want to be. For me, wanting to have sex is a seasonal thing. There must be numerous times when you, iluvhrdcor, feel like just being with someone you like. Without the intension of ****ing in the back of your mind ;) Also one turndown for me is if the girl is excessivly pursuing, no idea why, but that was the reason why i last time turned a girl down. Another one is i need complete privacy, i cant get into the mood if there are other people in the house. What i'm trying to say is, I think the best thing would be just asking him, and not in a guilt trip kind of way. And not to shoot down hes reasons before you've even tryed to understand them :) If hes a little shy or not enough horny, try getting him a little drunk (not really drunk) that should help on those. Reason why a bottle of wine is a romantic thing ;)
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Edited by - whispering on 2006/06/25 16:22:07 |
JesterDJ
Advanced Member
    

 United Kingdom
1,486 posts Joined: Apr, 2003
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 16:19:46
As ever Whispering, your words are wise, top stuff.
However i must say, this is a pattern that i have seen. Working in a bar, i have loads of male bar colleagues that i get on with socially. of the ones that have gf's, i have seen this be the norm.
They let themselves get dragged into a relationship and are too chicken to get themselves out of it, so they just stay with them, not having sex, and just go out cheating on them.
Its not my place to lay the morals on them, but at the end of the day, the reason i say what i did, is that i've seen that pattern before. A man that can't talk to his gf abuot a problem, is someone to be wary of. this is the bottom line.
you can never rule out anyone of temptation and making mistakes. because they can happen; or they may be deliberate.
Seriously, all i would say, is be cautious.
*EDIT*
One other thing i meant to say but forgot, don't start trying to figure him out, just be observant of his behaviour, the last thing you wanna do is start interrogating him, because if you do, it will only make matters worse.
Do as whispering says, show him you care about him and its not just about sex etc and try and talk to him about it. He'll appreciate it and it could bring you closer. Good luck babe :)
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Edited by - JesterDJ on 2006/06/25 16:24:10 |
whispering
Moderator
    

 Finland
8,453 posts Joined: Nov, 2002
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 16:27:08
^^ Know what you mean Jester. But if thats the case, their lack of intrest would show also on other areas of the relationship, not just in sex life. Though iluvhrdcor didnt really give much detail about the other parts of their relationship. But yea i wasnt ruling it out as impossible, just saying thats not the case with everyone :)
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PsychoticRaver
Average Member
  

 United Kingdom
185 posts Joined: Jun, 2006
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 16:31:34
As whispering said, get him a little drunk. Go to a bar, or club or stay at home with some drink and have a laugh. One thing will lead to another and you'll soon find yourself in the bedroom.
He might then realise and want more. :P.
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Mortis
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 United Kingdom
7,493 posts Joined: May, 2004
341 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 16:32:31
quote: Originally posted by whispering:
Also one turndown for me is if the girl is excessivly pursuing,
I'm the total opposite to that, I need to have the woman pursuing me not the other way around. They have to, and have nearly always made the first move on me, not the other way around.
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JesterDJ
Advanced Member
    

 United Kingdom
1,486 posts Joined: Apr, 2003
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 16:33:14
hmmm.....is it just me or does it feel like me and you are being like yin and yang here?
as with the way yin and yang works, be in balance. (ooo i'm getting good with this philosophical crap!)
Take both our comments to mind but approach it with a happy medium so as not to push him so hard it breaks down, but don't be so overly trusting and tending to what he wants; coz if he is doing the dirty, its just making it easier for him.
be careful, i quite like you, your a cool girl, would be gutted if the worse became for you!
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JESTER, n. An officer formerly attached to a king's household, whose business it was to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances, the absurdity being attested by his motley costume.
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