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whispering
Moderator
Finland
8,453 posts
Joined: Nov, 2002
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 Posted - 2006/06/25 : 16:42:56
quote:
Originally posted by JesterDJ:
Take both our comments to mind but approach it with a happy medium so as not to push him so hard it breaks down, but don't be so overly trusting and tending to what he wants; coz if he is doing the dirty, its just making it easier for him.
Exactly, best things about relationship is that you begin to know the other, hes/her preferences etc. Mortis' post kind of sums up that, you cant go with the same tactics with everyone.
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Ionosphere
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,750 posts
Joined: Dec, 2004
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 18:18:22
....or maybe he's been brought up a bit 'old fashioned' and doesn't think that the girl should make the first move and,
if that's the case, feels a certain amount of disrespect towards you.
If that is so he might find witholding sex as a form of punishment for you....
....and furthermore, if he's of that mind, may also feel a bit guilty about having sex before marriage anyway.
All of these considerations aren't 'romantic', the complete opposite.... a complete turn-off.
Hypothetical, of course, and the opposite from Jester's view....
....but we don't know the guy.
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XtarsiA
Senior Member
United Kingdom
431 posts
Joined: Mar, 2005
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 19:27:05
its all about comunication
&
i agree with most of whats been said :)
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Simon
Advanced Member
Belgium
5,001 posts
Joined: Dec, 2001
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 20:06:10
quote:
Originally posted by whispering:
i could give you better advice on that (i'm rarely wrong).
Become the worlds richest psychiatrist then.
quote:
Originally posted by XtarsiA:
its all about comunication
100% correct.
You should be asking him what the issue is. Be honest with him in the first instance to break the ice.
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SlimeShady
Junior Member
United Kingdom
104 posts
Joined: Jun, 2006
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 Posted - 2006/06/25 : 21:19:55
Sorry to say this but any guy worth their salt would never turn down sex with their partner no matter what (not unless they want to be in the doghouse for a while).
If my partner wanted sex even if I didn't, I'd still go ahead giving her the full attention she deserves because thats what a loving relationship is about, fulfilling each others needs.
Seems like to me that your other half is either cheating on you and you now have to find the best way of rumbling him or he's just lost complete interest in you but doesn't know how to tell you.
Either way, good luck.
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if there ain't no raver's groove to let me play"
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eLASTIC
Advanced Member
Australia
637 posts
Joined: Mar, 2005
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Posted - 2006/06/25 : 23:59:18
Hes prolly thrashed from porn before you get to him ; )
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The Doc
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,718 posts
Joined: Jan, 2006
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Posted - 2006/06/26 : 01:32:22
this is very hard to give an answer to becuase we don't know your relationship with the guy (how long have you been together, do you live together, how old are the both of you ect) but most of us men are simple creatures! and when sex is offerered we don't refuse for any reason! so I would be inclined to go for the the fact that perhaps he prefers men!
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clarke101
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,839 posts
Joined: Jun, 2003
185 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2006/06/26 : 01:47:45
quote:
Originally posted by [email protected]:
this is very hard to give an answer to becuase we don't know your relationship with the guy (how long have you been together, do you live together, how old are the both of you ect) but most of us men are simple creatures! and when sex is offerered we don't refuse for any reason! so I would be inclined to go for the the fact that perhaps he prefers men!
I think you mean cant refuse because they get stroppy when we say no but its fine for them to say no.
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Princess_E
Starting Member
Australia
11 posts
Joined: Jun, 2006
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 Posted - 2006/06/26 : 02:18:10
This issue with ur man sounds like my worst nightmare
One. Sit down n talk it out
Give him a chance to be honest n get it outta his system and yours
You must prepare your self for anything tho
^ As above (cheating, illness, no motivation etc etc)
Honesty and communication are some of the main keys to a healthy relationship.
Im very happy with my boyfriend atm.
but there were some times when we both felt we were lying to ourselves.
So we took a lil break n got back together weeks later...
He keeps me busy n i plan to always stay faithful. :-)
Im young but ive learnt one lil lesson
No boy acts Suss for No Reason. And Thats The Truth....
Two. one thing most guys hate is mind games.
If you want this whole no sex game to stop ask him to cut the crap n be honest. (example: not in the mood [something is bothering him], illness)
Three. He could just be Selfish in bed
Thing to do : not sure ive never had it happen to me.
maybe Tell him that its not fair and that relationships are about meeting in the middle and satisfying each other in any area nessesary.
If he argues with you/raises his voice or gives you fake excuses
tell him ur sick of it n if it continues you will loose interest.
Alot of people get self concious or deeply depressed and sex really doesnt help a low self esteem,
Dont feel like its your fault
You sound like a lovely nice girl
Some guys just dunno how to apprieciate a good woman.
Goodluck with ur man...
-princess_E
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Brian K
Advanced Member
United States
8,663 posts
Joined: Sep, 2001
528 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2006/06/26 : 02:25:43
I know one guy who doesn't particularly care for sex, I think he's asexual...but I do hear from several women who don't think they are getting enough sex because their significant others are too busy playing video games =P
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Hard2Get
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
12,837 posts
Joined: Jun, 2001
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Posted - 2006/06/26 : 04:19:06
quote:
Originally posted by iluvhrdcor:
sorry guys, but really what is up with u??? half of u may not be like this at all, but my boyfriend certainly is....
anyway, when i want to have sex, its like i am not allowed to touch him or get into it, he says "its out of bounds" or makes up some sh@t story why i am not allowed to go there.
but today when he feels like it (SOME WEEKS LATER) after i have tried for so long, he decides that he wants a bit..... so i say "no" and he gets all cut and says " fine looks like u wont get any for along time then" and i a say " well its no different to our normal day life".... i am not unattractive and i don't like to say i am attractive... i guess i am in between... do any of u get the same thing or is it just me?
Regardless of any genuine reasons he has for not wanting sex, the problem is he clearly does not respect you. I don't there is much point in trying to resolve the problem because there is not a problem with the relationship, the problem is with him.
XtarsiA is right, it is all about communication. Though your boyfreinds' disrespect for you has nothing to do with lack of communication, so even if the communication problem was solved, he still wouldn't respect you any more than before.
That may sound abit blunt (i was very tempted to just not post), but it's not really, i just don't think people's rude reactions are justified by how they feel. You can't neccesarily control how you feel about any problems you may have, but you can control how you react to those feelings, and that is what ultimately seperates nice people from lesser nice people.
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Edited by - Hard2Get on 2006/06/26 04:32:12 |
Squishy Star
Advanced Member
United States
2,242 posts
Joined: Mar, 2004
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Posted - 2006/06/26 : 04:42:11
That sounds rather strange to me...what guy doesn't want a girl to go down on him? [I thought all guys were horny fuhks?!] Maybe he's gay or like bi-polar bi?
Either way, he sounds like a tard to me.
I'm wondering about that part when you said "i am not unattractive and i don't like to say i am attractive..." What does that matter? Aren't the two of you already in a relationship; so haven't you already gone past that part of being attractive towards one other and moved onto being truely deeply in it for the enjoyment of one's personality, company and all that?
Whatever, there shouldn't be 'problems' with sex in <i>good</i> relationships. I reckon something's going on, outside of the relationship...
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whispering
Moderator
Finland
8,453 posts
Joined: Nov, 2002
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Posted - 2006/06/26 : 06:33:21
quote:
Originally posted by Simon:
Become the worlds richest psychiatrist then.
Bah, i wrote it wrong. I mean, people lie with words etc, but rarely make any effort hiding their feelings. Its various little things that one does if he/she cares or doesnt care about the other.
quote:
Originally posted by Squishy Star:
I thought all guys were horny fuhks?!
...when their young. But it doesnt last forever like that.
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iluvhrdcor
Advanced Member
Australia
589 posts
Joined: Jan, 2006
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Posted - 2006/06/26 : 08:58:21
i am sorry, i haven't told the entire storey properly... but u all have been wonderful in helping my life out.
to answer some of the questions:
i know my boyfriend isn't cheating cause the both of us live together and we haven't been out in along time, he 23 and i am 22. he used to watch ALOT of porn and that was one the reasons [as ELASTIC knows (hehehe)] y his was reluctent to having sex, so i got rid of it, i got the implanon implant in my arm (a form of new contraception that last 3 years) cause he was afraid i would become pregnent again so the new excuse was " i thought it doesn't work straight away"... plus i have mentioned this to him alot of times in the past and another excuse was that i talk about it to much! which makes him not want to have sex with me. he makes alot of excuses. we have been going out for 1- 3months and living together for 7months.
so i hope this helps? it really makes me depressed. i have told him this too cause it makes me feel very unattractive, i feel that this is the problem or that he is bored, but ieven forfilled his dream and that was to dress up in suspenders and other sexy stuff but now i am to scared to cause i think i will be turned down like he has done in the passed cause he is to tired!
sorry i mean that i am not attractive but in between i guess, i dont know how to rate looks????
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Edited by - whispering on 2006/06/30 11:36:06 |
bulby_g
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
7,205 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
430 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2006/06/26 : 09:50:18
Picture? ;)
quote:
Originally posted by iluvhrdcor:
that he is bored, but ieven forfilled his dream and that was to dress up in suspenders and other sexy stuff
Lucky get! I can't count on two hands the amount of times I've tried to convince my girlfriend that'd be great fun lol. Doesn't appreciate you enough from the sounds of things.
It does sound like you spend to much time together taking your age and the length of time you've been going out into consideration...
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