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don_simon3000
Senior Member
Austria
342 posts
Joined: Jan, 2009
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 Posted - 2012/06/17 : 20:00:40
you are not made for having long lasting relationships ... :( :( :(
actually it happend some months ago already, but i just refused to realize, tried to keep it going.... and well since a few days even an illusionist like me knows its not possible for me, so its over :(
did i think of suicide? of course i did! :( , did i put ALL the blame on me? yes ...
but now i slowely start to realize that i gained my freedom again. either way: happy hardcore tunes (or more so: the lyrics there) have helped me so much and gave me amazingly strong support to get through all this shit....
oh well, sorry for posting this here, i have no other place (facebook not allowed because of my ex and all other messages boards im in are relatively strict theme-limited).
oh well i dont know if you even know me or whatever, maybe im here the same as in real life - borderline psycho, i dont know.
i just needed to write it down and i thought here is a good place. :) may god (hixxy) bless u all folkz!! :)
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djDMS
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
10,304 posts
Joined: Feb, 2003
572 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2012/06/17 : 20:16:18
I feel for you mate, i'm in exactly the same position as you.
Will it get easier? The short answer is yes. How long it takes is another question entirely!
__________________________________
Taking my time to perfect the beat
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don_simon3000
Senior Member
Austria
342 posts
Joined: Jan, 2009
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Posted - 2012/06/17 : 22:05:55
yeah... thanks matey! they say time heals wounds but after 4 months i still have these flashbacks ... i still ADORE him, he is still my one and only... 1 month ago i bought him the ps vita + 1 game + 2 ps store cards, totaled 400... not saying i wanted to "buy" him back but i had hopes.. i wrote also a letter where i told him about my feelings (and i cant do that very often, its not my strong point :( ) ...
and i still love him... doing some psychological coaching these days (it costs me and it costs me much!!) and havent touched any drugs since...
BUT: i often ask me ... WHY??? i mean i can do my good job, i earn ennough to be independant, and i still love to get wasted on a weekend / party....
argh difficult situation... its not that i could not get another one.... im not perfect, but i have high income and i also look relatively good, but my weakness is that im very choosing on a new bf, i dont take the first one...
im really undecided... probably i will consume some substances again soon and it will make me getting over my bad situation very soon (as it has in the past) ...
and until / during / after this the music will support me...
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Smoogie
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,502 posts
Joined: Mar, 2006
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Posted - 2012/06/17 : 22:10:56
I have lost count of the number of times that I have been on Facebook and someone has updated their status saying they are in a shit mood but feel much better after 'blasting some tunes' lol so yes Hardcore is good for people!
In fact if I feel angry I put some nice hard Gabber on, always works!
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.
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wong
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,991 posts
Joined: Feb, 2006
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Posted - 2012/06/17 : 22:18:47
when im angry gabber just makes me angrier. happy hardcore when angry ftw.
__________________________________
intensify the treatment
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Lilley
Advanced Member
Australia
3,740 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006
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Posted - 2012/06/17 : 22:22:44
quote:
Originally posted by don_simon3000:
yeah... thanks matey! they say time heals wounds but after 4 months i still have these flashbacks ...
That's normal mate, give it at least a year or two before expecting things to start dying off. It's as though humans are wired for lifelong relationships.
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nearly in line....
.....strange continuity problems
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The Dopeman
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,393 posts
Joined: Aug, 2005
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Posted - 2012/06/17 : 22:49:28
quote:
Originally posted by wong:
when im angry gabber just makes me angrier. happy hardcore when angry ftw.
i listen to old skool gabber it makes me feel better
__________________________________
Spark this shit up!!!
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Warnman
Advanced Member
Germany
2,677 posts
Joined: Jun, 2010
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Posted - 2012/06/17 : 23:50:09
Believe me, love and relatitionships can occure to be the most wonderful and cruel things in life at the same time.
I've seriously been in love for 3 times in my lifetime and it always has ended up being a disaster for myself. I am barely able to simply develope having a simply crush on someone. It's 0% or 100% for me.
Most of my lifetime I have been abused by women or my fellow men. I have been treated, like being a chewing gum: if I was no use anymore, simply spit it out! I have experienced hell on earth, but finally I started to develope a minimum of self-confidence and this forum is one of the reasons, why I did. The only reason, why I havn't comitted suicide, has been, because I don't have the balls to do it.
It might sound ridiculously, but I usually feel being the world's biggest looser. I'm 28 years old and besides one summer affair, I havn't had one single relationship in my f**kin' life.
If you need more treatment please feel free to pm me, man. I really mean it!
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Ravers unite!
"Happy Hardcore: Love it... hate it... it's fun!" (Matt Stokes)
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Edited by - Warnman on 2012/06/17 23:52:18 |
Ionosphere
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,750 posts
Joined: Dec, 2004
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Posted - 2012/06/18 : 11:51:37
quote:
Originally posted by djDMS:
I feel for you mate, i'm in exactly the same position as you.
Will it get easier? The short answer is yes. How long it takes is another question entirely!
on average it takes 2 years to recover from an emotional loss.
In the meantime, walk on.
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This- http://www.discogs.com/artist/Ionosphere
THIS - http://soundcloud.com/ionosphere
VIDEO - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nYWkHCkaho
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_Jay_
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,868 posts
Joined: Oct, 2011
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Posted - 2012/06/18 : 12:07:00
Some big issues floating around here.
It is a cliche, but it's true - it's not necessarily the time that heels, it's the shit that you do during that time. The stuff you are doing is perfect - getting yourself in good shape, feeling good about yourself. Getting yourself out there. A descent into drugs is not what you need at the moment.
I have done, and do do, a lot of drugs - but it's never a good idea to do them when you're depressed. Will only make things worse.
And your first point - made for long term relationships? I am definitely not. And I genuinely believe that human beings as a species aren't either. Having variation in friends and your social life is what makes life bearable. I have found in my long-term relationships that as time goes on, I like the person less and less. That's not because I've changed, or she's change - that's just the way it goes. You can't just invent interesting things to talk about, or things to do all the time. Just does not work like that.
But just stay positive man. Trust that there are things outside of relationships that make life worth living. Music, friends, fitness, food, money - these are the things that make life good.
Christian - you give me a damn call next time you're feeling like that buddy! Will make time to talk to you about heavy stuff like that - any time of the day man :-)
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http://HardcoreHighlights.com/
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Edited by - _Jay_ on 2012/06/18 12:09:16 |
Future_Shock
Advanced Member
Australia
2,483 posts
Joined: Apr, 2007
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Posted - 2012/06/18 : 13:55:38
Like Jay said, a lot of big issues floating about here.
I suppose fortunately (for lack of a better word) these situations are probably the most common felt by people in general. Love and loss. I'm not trivializing what you're going through at all, but it happens to the best of us. As already mentioned and as cliche as it is, time really does heal these kinds of wounds.
I'm not ashamed to admit that at the end of some pretty heavy relationships in my life i've had a cry. It's important to understand that along with love comes an unrivalled sense of vulnerability... Hence, when it doesn't work out, it's devastating.
It's hard, but you get through it. Millions of people do every day. You will too.. I know it's impossible to understand that right now, but you will.
And in no way do i believe any one person (mentally sane person) is not "made" for long-lasting relationships. If that's what you're emotionally open for, and looking for, then that's what you're "made" for. It just didn't work out for you this time.
It's a funny way to think of it, but in tough situations this reasoning has always made me feel better: If everyone always got what they wanted, nobody would ever be satisfied. It's through bad times that you appreciate the good, and with every hard time you have, when good times come, you'll remember how bad it was without it, and you'll appreciate it a whole lot more.
That's all i've got to say on this matter, but there's some things i wanted to outline:
quote:
Originally posted by Smoogie:
I have lost count of the number of times that I have been on Facebook and someone has updated their status saying they are in a shit mood but feel much better after 'blasting some tunes' lol so yes Hardcore is good for people!
In fact if I feel angry I put some nice hard Gabber on, always works!
Never thought i'd say this in response to smoogie, but +1. He's on the money.
/advice.
Now to Jay. I apologize profusely that the following has to be introduced into this topic, but Jay has brought up some things that interest me greatly.
*edit* am starting a new thread. It doesn't feel appropriate in here. Just one thing.
quote:
Originally posted by _Jay_:
I have done, and do do, a lot of drugs - but it's never a good idea to do them when you're depressed. Will only make things worse.
I've always been of the old adage 'Take drugs to make you happier, not happy.'
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New Future Shock Hardcore: https://soundcloud.com/futureshockgroup
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don_simon3000
Senior Member
Austria
342 posts
Joined: Jan, 2009
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Posted - 2012/06/18 : 17:41:44
quote:
Originally posted by Ionosphere:
quote:
Originally posted by djDMS:
I feel for you mate, i'm in exactly the same position as you.
Will it get easier? The short answer is yes. How long it takes is another question entirely!
on average it takes 2 years to recover from an emotional loss.
In the meantime, walk on.
2 years? holy sh...... :( the last months i have been drinking heavily (by heavily i mean 2 bottles of wine or at least 6 beers) nearly on a daily basis just because of that shit. the thing is, i put so much effort into that relationship cause i really felt - for the first time ever - that it will work out. and it didnt. basically im undecided if i should hate that guy or better should i hate myself? im a very bad loser, always been, and i think that affects my current mood as well.
i was in a good mood today lets say for half of the day and wanted to go to gym again and pump my muscles up but then in the late afternoon i got sad and angry and depressed again and as i had some beers in the fridge, they are open now and get drunk :/
if it helps somehow, yes im starting to realize that its better to go on and not trying to fix a broken thing ... soon i will go downstairs to my basement and get my trackies and cappies back - gave that style up for him but not for myself and maybe it helps to realize myself that i have my own life now and own responsibilities and choices.
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Warnman
Advanced Member
Germany
2,677 posts
Joined: Jun, 2010
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Posted - 2012/06/18 : 20:28:13
quote:
Originally posted by _Jay_:
Christian - you give me a damn call next time you're feeling like that buddy! Will make time to talk to you about heavy stuff like that - any time of the day man :-)
I will, dude! But seriously: I'm feeling fine today. Last week was horrible, but I havn't developed a depression breakdown like I regulary did like back in January 2011 for the last time. During my clubbing nights, women are flirting with me. My only problem is that I only start to recognise it the day after the party. XD
__________________________________
Ravers unite!
"Happy Hardcore: Love it... hate it... it's fun!" (Matt Stokes)
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Edited by - Warnman on 2012/06/18 20:29:46 |
don_simon3000
Senior Member
Austria
342 posts
Joined: Jan, 2009
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Posted - 2012/07/14 : 19:07:39
some mod feel free to close the topic. this topic together with the guy is past and dead and done and over for me.
i got my life and my freedom back - not the worst thing to happen is it? :)
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Dante
Advanced Member
Vatican City State (Holy See)
1,185 posts
Joined: Dec, 2009
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Posted - 2012/07/25 : 18:20:13
Over a year and I'm still ****ed. Hope it doesn't take that long for you, at least you're doing something about it.
Get well!
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The "artist" formerly known as Nakk(enboro)!
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http://soundcloud.com/bballs
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