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Thread |
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jack5724
Junior Member
United Kingdom
93 posts
Joined: Dec, 2006
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 Posted - 2007/04/08 : 12:09:47
Has anyoneGot any good jokes what they would like to share!!
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.ıl.lıl.lı.Its All About The Core™.ıl.lıl.lı.
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G_FORCE
Junior Member
United Kingdom
95 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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 Posted - 2007/05/04 : 23:42:19
DDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKK
HHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
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Underloop
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,895 posts
Joined: Mar, 2002
91 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2007/05/05 : 09:14:49
quote:
Originally posted by G_FORCE:
DDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKK
HHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
No need for that really was there
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"We don't stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing."
- George Bernard Shaw
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NeXuS
Advanced Member
United States
1,627 posts
Joined: Nov, 2004
81 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2007/05/05 : 19:08:44
A man who has been shipwrecked on a desert island for several years is beginning to feel the effects of being starved of sex for so long. However, the only living creatures on the island are a pig and a dog. One day, the man decides he’s had enough and thinks to himself that it has to be the pig. But when he approaches the sow for his moment of passion, the dog bites the man’s backside. This continues for several days, and the man is beginning to get very frustrated. But one morning, the man’s luck changes: out to sea, he notices a beautiful young woman on the point of drowning. He swims over, drags her out on to the beach and proceeds to give her the kiss of life. The woman comes to and is very grateful. ‘Thank you so much,’ she says. ‘I will do anything for you, and I mean absolutely anything.’ The man can’t believe his luck and quickly replies, ‘You wouldn’t mind taking that bloody dog for a walk, would you?’
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We're gonna start a new revolution...
One that will rock and roll your senses
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chappy_hardcore
Senior Member
United Kingdom
284 posts
Joined: Apr, 2006
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Posted - 2007/05/05 : 20:03:18
Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight.
She was from Quality Street; he was a Fisherman's Friend. On the way,they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter, and she had a Wine Gum. He asked her name,' Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said. 'I'm the one with the nuts,' he thought! Then he touched her Milky Way. They checked in, and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic. It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her Cream Egg. He fondled her Flap Jacks then he showed her his Curly Wurly and Tic Tacs. Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any more Jelly Babies, so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard. He was pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a Magic Moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight. When he pulled out, his Fun Size Mars Bar it felt a bit Crunchy. She wanted more, but he needed Time Out, and however, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetizing. He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet Fountain and finished off by giving her a Gob Stopper! Unfortunately, Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel. Sadly he was soon to discover he had VD. It turned out Miss Rowntree had been with All Sorts!
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Chappy Hardcore, GlobalHardcoreAlliance.com
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The Doc
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,718 posts
Joined: Jan, 2006
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Posted - 2007/05/06 : 00:23:58
Off my 8 year old son!
What colour is a hiccup?
Burple!
for some reason I did laugh! its surreal!
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Rock you in your face! stab your brain with your nose bone!
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Entity
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,329 posts
Joined: Jul, 2003
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Posted - 2007/05/06 : 00:31:19
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used
to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the
family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the
husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea
about her hearing loss.
"Here's what you do," said the Doctor,
"stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal
conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not,
go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a
response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking
dinner, and he was in the den.
He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see
what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey,
what's for dinner?"
No response.
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30
feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20
feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.
"Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
" Ralph , for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!"
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Smoogie
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,504 posts
Joined: Mar, 2006
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 Posted - 2007/05/07 : 09:04:13
An English man, Scotsman and an Irish man are driving throught the desert and their jeep breaks down. There is a villege near by but they will have to walk there. They decide to taking something from the jeep that will help them along the way.
'Im going to take the water tank so we have somthing to drink when we get thirsty,' said the English man
'Im going to take the bonnet so we have shelter at night,' said the Scotsman. The Irishman said 'Im going to take the car door so when it gets hot I can wind the window down!!!' 
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.
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Righteous9
Advanced Member
United States
1,516 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
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Posted - 2007/05/07 : 17:55:08
You want funny... Watch Dave Chapelle or in the UK you got that crazy Junglist, who talks to all these dignitaries, important people, etc., etc. about deep shit that people don't ussually think about, I forgot his name but he's on HBO in the US!, depends on your mood though!
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http://www.twitter.com/DJ_Ghostly
http://www.soundcloud.com/DJ_Ghostly
http://www.mixcloud.com/DJ_Ghostly
http://www.facebook.com/matthew.djghostly.mccoy
http://www.rapfamily.info
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Ionosphere
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,750 posts
Joined: Dec, 2004
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Posted - 2007/05/08 : 00:06:12
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my Uncle....
....not in a screaming panic, like the passengers on his bus.
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This- http://www.discogs.com/artist/Ionosphere
THIS - http://soundcloud.com/ionosphere
VIDEO - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nYWkHCkaho
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Ard2theCore
Senior Member
United Kingdom
447 posts
Joined: Jan, 2006
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Posted - 2007/05/08 : 08:08:44
quote:
Originaly posted by Entity:
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used
to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the
family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the
husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea
about her hearing loss.
"Here's what you do," said the Doctor,
"stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal
conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not,
go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a
response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking
dinner, and he was in the den.
He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see
what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey,
what's for dinner?"
No response.
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30
feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20
feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.
"Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
" Ralph , for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!"
Quality!!!
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A way of Seeing, a way of Feeling, away of Being...
HARDCORE- A Way of Life.
http://www.myspace.com/crave2rave
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Edited by - Ard2theCore on 2007/05/08 08:09:35 |
Smoogie
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,504 posts
Joined: Mar, 2006
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Posted - 2007/05/08 : 18:28:54
quote:
Originally posted by Ionosphere:
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my Uncle....
....not in a screaming panic, like the passengers on his bus.
Classic!!!!
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.
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hardcore anorak
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
971 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2007/05/12 : 13:38:36
Whats the difference between a women and a fridge? the fridge dont fart when u take the meat out
" Ralph , for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!"
[/quote]
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Jon O-T
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
929 posts
Joined: Jun, 2005
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Posted - 2007/05/12 : 17:25:39
A 6 year old boy and his 4 year old brother were talking in their bedroom one morning.
"We need to start swearing around the house" said the 6 year old. The 4 year old agreed.
"When we go down for breakfast, Ill say a sentence with the word 'Hell' in it, and you can say a sentence with the word 'Ass' in it" the 6 year old continued. They agree and go downstairs for breakfast.
Their mum greets them in the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants to eat. The 6 year old replies "Ah...hell mum, I think I'll have some cheerios!"
The mum screams and hits the boy and he runs up to his room crying. The mum looks down at the 4 year old still in anger. "And what do YOU want for breakfast?!"
The 4 year old is shaking and sobbing with fright, but he finally manages to respond.
"I don't know.....but I'll bet your fat ass it wont be cheerios!"
XD
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The internet: Where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents 
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kathryn
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
6,520 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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Posted - 2007/05/14 : 13:30:53
my all time fave joke is:::::
what do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk 
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:)
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