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whispering
Moderator
Finland
8,453 posts
Joined: Nov, 2002
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 Posted - 2006/09/24 : 12:19:30
quote:
Originally posted by Jessikah:
why are lads so much pricks. how can he say its over, then say were going shopping and shit ?
Either he cares about you, and thinks it will hurt you less if he zips of the bandage slowly or he wants to keep you close incase other things fail. Either way it sounds you'll get over it easier by cutting all ties to him, so id suggest you do that. Anyway hope you'll feel better soon :)
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djDMS
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
10,304 posts
Joined: Feb, 2003
572 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2006/09/24 : 12:20:09
quote:
Originally posted by Jessikah:
why are lads so much pricks. how can he say its over, then say were going shopping and shit ?
Because he wants his cake and eat it!
He'll keep stringing you along, messing with your head while it suits him - then remind you you're not together when you want something from him.
Believe me, i know!
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gabbe
Junior Member
Sweden
81 posts
Joined: Nov, 2005
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Posted - 2006/09/24 : 12:49:59
omg 413 months, thats 34,417 years!
...
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Ionosphere
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,750 posts
Joined: Dec, 2004
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Posted - 2006/09/24 : 12:59:29
quote:
Originally posted by Jessikah:
Its his aunties wedding next saturday. And told me last night that i am going to that full stop, which i think is abit werid. He is acting as if we are still together, hes even taking me shopping on monday night after work.
....maybe he just wants to look good infront of his relatives and you're part of his ego trip.
What's he going to do after the wedding?
or
If he doesn't trust you how much of that is you're own fault?
Not being good to your word by returning his call after ten minutes.
Then forgetting about him and going around your mate's and falling asleep.
If you behave with that level of ignorance towards him he can't be blamed for wondering about you.
Trust requires the responsibility of consideration for each other at all times.
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Edited by - Ionosphere on 2006/09/24 13:00:35 |
SixFeet
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,285 posts
Joined: Jan, 2005
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Posted - 2006/09/24 : 14:14:44
To be brutally honest there is no way to just automatically get over him, you'll just have to bare the pain. It will go away eventually then all you're left with is some great memories. Unfortunately with all highs, lows have to follow. He is acting like a selfish git and knows full well the conflicting messages he is causing you along the added pain caused by the confusion. Cut all ties with him and do something to take your mind off it. When I have alot on my mind I just grab my MP3 player and take a walk to try and clear my head. Go to a theme park with all your friends or something. Just don't drink, it doesn't help with matters of the heart and seeing as you said you just recently got over a drinking problem it would be very bad for you.
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lilmissminx
Average Member
United Kingdom
244 posts
Joined: Mar, 2005
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Posted - 2006/09/24 : 14:15:41
ive been with my lad a year and a half and a half now, we split up one night cos i was stupidly drunk and and being a complete bitch.i was exactly like that couldnt stop crying and felt like i had nothing for about 7 hours straight, if you do want him back apologise but dont grovel! if hes worth it he will see that you are sorry for what you have done and he wil come back well thats what mine done.
but if you dont want him back but are still upset like everyone else has said time is the best healer, and things will get better
i think its hard when you have the same friendship group (me and my boyfriend do) cos you fear you will lose your social life. thats a horrible feeling
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Jessikah
Senior Member
United Kingdom
307 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006
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Posted - 2006/09/24 : 18:17:49
After reading all your advice, it really has helped me decide on what i want to happen.
He is coming round mine tonight so we can sit and chat, and im just going to say sorry and that i love him [[ which i do ]]. But if he doesnt want to get back together, just going to cut evrything off from :passwords, webpage. everything, even my room is full of pictures of the pair of us.
I have changed my number to prove that i aint cheating on him, just cant beleive im acting like this over a boy!!
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Hard2Get
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
12,837 posts
Joined: Jun, 2001
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Posted - 2006/09/24 : 18:47:23
You don't need him back. If you were meant to be together in any un-superficial way then you would never have broken up to begin with. You only feel like you want him back because your attached to him, not because you actually should be with him. It should pass in time, if not, you have to look at what gap in your life the attachment to him is filling.
I don't mean to say that like it's all facts, that's just one view on it :P
quote:
He loves you too much?
Rubbish! That's just his excuse for being a control freak.
He doesn't trust you - and that won't go away.
Too true, people who say that always do so to excuse their stupid behavoir. You cannot love someone too much either. If he really did care about you he wouldn't talk about doing it, he would just do it.
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Edited by - Hard2Get on 2006/09/24 18:59:03 |
Uproar
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,644 posts
Joined: Aug, 2004
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Posted - 2006/09/24 : 19:24:44
Your decision should be decided on whether he's good in the sack or not. 
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Jessikah
Senior Member
United Kingdom
307 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006
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Posted - 2006/09/24 : 19:32:16
than that answer would be yes cause he is
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Sk8SiM
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,293 posts
Joined: Nov, 2004
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Posted - 2006/09/24 : 22:00:10
quote:
Originally posted by djDMS:
He loves you too much?
Rubbish! That's just his excuse for being a control freak.
He doesn't trust you - and that won't go away.
I disagree...
"Loving someone too much" In genral is ******** yeah... but when used asif to decribe "trust" its real!
basiclly... Loving someone too much & not trusting someone... is the same thing!
When you "love someone tooo much"... you get paraniod... start doing stupid things! like checking up on them... witch is VERY UNHEALTHY!!
and it really gets you down evan doing it... you start thinking to yourself "what the **** am i doing" lol and it makes you think "i can't do this shit no more"
so in my view... fair play to him!
But he could of worded it better! he should be honest and say "i don't trust you"
But then again ^^^ saying that whould really **** someone off... its not a nice thing to say to a girl as they always take it badly (trust me i know!)
so saying... "i love you too much" ...but... i think your a whore - would be the right way to word it! 
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djDMS
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
10,304 posts
Joined: Feb, 2003
572 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2006/09/24 : 22:11:24
quote:
Originally posted by Sk8SiM:
basiclly... Loving someone too much & not trusting someone... is the same thing!
No it isn't!
The last woman i had the misfortune to be involved with couldn't be trusted one bit - but i never loved her.
I didn't tell her what she wanted to hear just so i could get my own way, i told her straight.
Saying anything you don't mean is just a way of getting what you want - almost as bad as saying 'if you love me you'd.......'
YOU CAN'T LOVE SOMEONE TOO MUCH!
Utter bollocks.
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Edited by - djDMS on 2006/09/24 22:12:52 |
Jax
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,676 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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Posted - 2006/09/24 : 22:27:59
there is a bit of a lack of an understanding of the word "Love"
if you love someone then you would trust them completly, maybe you might get jealous or a bit worried if your partner was getting a bit close to someone else but you would confront them and have a discussion
Love is often used when you just really like someone, or are infatuatuated, or are just after some security in a relationship, which can be confusing if you end up splitting up because you get an empty feeling and start feeling insecure, but its not the love of the person it was the love of the security which makes you think you were in Love
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Hard2Get
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
12,837 posts
Joined: Jun, 2001
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Posted - 2006/09/24 : 22:45:42
quote:
Originally posted by DJ_JaXoN:
there is a bit of a lack of an understanding of the word "Love"
if you love someone then you would trust them completly, maybe you might get jealous or a bit worried if your partner was getting a bit close to someone else but you would confront them and have a discussion
Love is often used when you just really like someone, or are infatuatuated, or are just after some security in a relationship, which can be confusing if you end up splitting up because you get an empty feeling and start feeling insecure, but its not the love of the person it was the love of the security which makes you think you were in Love
I am so glad you said that. It's exactly what i was thinking and i couldn't agree more. It's nice to see someone else have an understanding of what should be obvious :)
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Edited by - Hard2Get on 2006/09/24 22:47:13 |
Jessikah
Senior Member
United Kingdom
307 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006
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Posted - 2006/09/25 : 12:09:09
i totally agree with all the past comments, But just on a happier note we got back together last night 
He came round hugged me and said i cant live without you, i want you back. Will you ?
he even had tears in his eyes, so i think hes being honest but if this is all some sort of sick joke ill kill him Just to be nice though haha
But to me the word love means that you trust them, you just phone them to hear there voice, you do anything for them [ within reason of course ].
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"Look at me! I'm an attention whore!"
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