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Cyborgasm
Advanced Member
Canada
678 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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 Posted - 2006/06/16 : 04:36:57
HONEY, NOT TONITE...
I have never understood why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."She then responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not for what I do in the bedroom?"Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep...The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.We went out to a good lunch and then went
shopping at a very big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.She wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said "Let's get a pair for each outfit".We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.I started to think she was testing me because she then asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.I think I threw her when I said, "That's fine, honey."She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.Smiling with excited
anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the
cashier."I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
LMAO just had to share that one guys 
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Anything Below 300BPM is for Pussies
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ihaveduff
Advanced Member
Australia
944 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
28 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2006/06/16 : 04:45:54
heard that one before, but it never ceases to put a HUGE smile on my face 
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Born to Rave:Live to Dance
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Squishy Star
Advanced Member
United States
2,242 posts
Joined: Mar, 2004
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Posted - 2006/06/16 : 04:55:27
haha - that was good
in yo face biotch! =P
but couldn't say who's "right" and who's "wrong"...was the man in it just for the sex and or was the woman in it just for the cash??
either way, girls that insist a guy hold a door for her, girls that reckon everything be paid for (for them), girls that scream and run all ova the place when a bug goes near them or if they see a mouse or summat, and blah blah blah < i just find pure annoying.
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"i want to create a world, a world full of colour; where everyone can play. like one big party that never ends,"
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tklown
Advanced Member
United States
512 posts
Joined: Nov, 2003
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Posted - 2006/06/16 : 04:57:49
Classic :)
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Edited by - tklown on 2006/06/16 04:58:42 |
1up
Advanced Member
Australia
1,091 posts
Joined: Jan, 2005
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Posted - 2006/06/16 : 07:18:07
thats bloody mean!~ and funny  !!!~
did that really happen to ya cause that would completely suck ass ><!
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fcuk the rails. fcuk the rails! FCUK THE RAILS!
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Em Jay
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,727 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
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Posted - 2006/06/16 : 07:31:35
haha, yeah I forgot about this, Jester posted it somewhere ages ago, rather clever I must say.
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Sk8SiM
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,293 posts
Joined: Nov, 2004
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Posted - 2006/06/16 : 07:59:18
[LOL] that had me on the egde of my seat that...
I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gonne try it!!!!!
i member in my prev relactionships... after about a year the sex starts drithing out, spes when you've been at it like bunnys the last 12 months lol...
nice one mate 
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<b>To Be Open Minded... Is To Open Your Mind!</b>
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_BoNe_
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,387 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2006/06/16 : 08:33:11
Haha ****in slut. Eat shit!
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iluvhrdcor
Advanced Member
Australia
589 posts
Joined: Jan, 2006
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Posted - 2006/06/16 : 08:43:10
hahahahahahahaha..... that was so funny, i have never read that before.
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HARDCORE IS WHAT BRINGS THE BEST OUT OF ME
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Jax
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,676 posts
Joined: Apr, 2005
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Posted - 2006/06/16 : 11:51:18
lol thats an absolutle beauty !
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eLASTIC
Advanced Member
Australia
637 posts
Joined: Mar, 2005
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Posted - 2006/06/18 : 02:19:15
That was awesome lol.
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Simon
Advanced Member
Belgium
5,001 posts
Joined: Dec, 2001
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Posted - 2006/06/18 : 10:12:38
......You're not on the list
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charlieee
Advanced Member
Australia
1,422 posts
Joined: Dec, 2005
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Posted - 2006/06/18 : 11:13:01
lol dats a golden one, never heard dat b4 but it's funni as lol
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